I had absolutely no perception of what to expect at secondary school, or any of the ramifications of leaving the primary school. As it came near to the time when we were due to leave I wrote about my life at the school.......I wrote 'I am looking forward to the next school', since that was what I thought we were supposed to write. What I really felt was the deepest fear and dread imaginable because I could not envisage any aspect of secondary school life. All I could imagine was a void in which all the rules of conduct were unknown. What would happen at lunch time? How would I conduct myself? How would I speak to people? How would I find my way around? This was terrifying, because I could not imagine ever having the answers.
       A few months later on the first day at secondary school....... As I walk down towards the school I feel nothing. All my emotions have been quashed; my mind is dominated by pure logical thought. The school seems like a huge maze, the multicoloured blurs are running around manically, screaming and shouting. My inner strength of logical calm is a refuge from the external chaos. In amongst the pandemonium I stumble across one of the children from my previous school,
       "Where are we supposed to be going?", I asked. She pointed vaguely towards a big door, and ran off.......After spending the whole of the morning in our Form Room we are sent to a French lesson. I just followed behind some of the people from my class. It is impossible for me to know or remember which way we went to get to the classroom for the French lesson. I am bewildered and disorientated. Again, to reduce the visual chaos I choose to sit at the front of the classroom by the wall. The teacher walks in and says,
       "k(wl pqo4 f/;^&k alwe$i h~#kjy]ls". Is she talking English or French? I can barely hear or understand English when it is spoken, how will I ever manage French? As the lesson continues I am having terrible trouble understanding anything she says. I am never quite sure whether she is speaking English or French!
       In this school there are no stable references. The place is so large it appears to be an inconsistent labyrinth, and I just follow on behind any member from my class to get to our next classroom. I have no friends here and have been unable to understand the girl sitting next to me in the Form Room. Why do most of the other people in my class seem to have some friends already? How can they understand what each other is saying? Why do the other children not seem as scared as I am? Why am I so incapable? I am good at quashing my emotional responses to these horrific situations. After what seemed like an eternity, it was time to go home.......