Hints and Tips for Asperger Syndrome

I find that compensating for my Asperger Syndrome is often very stressful and/or exhausting particularly in social situations. So I need plenty of recovery time after activities such as work.

Things I find helpful...

	It is useful if friends and family telling me how they are feeling rather than expecting me to read them.
	If I must change any of my routine I prefer to be in control!
	I try and have a daily routine that is just about rigid enough for me to keep track of time but try and avoid it being so rigid that it causes extreme stress if something does not happen at exactly the right time. For instance I hope to eat lunch at 13:15 but will accept a 15min change either side.
	It is useful when I am going to a place where I am not comfortable if there is someone there that I trust - this tends to reduce stress. I may well cope whether a 'trusted' person is present or not but keeping the stress level down is also important.
	Often I do not know which words to use when speaking to people so where ever possible I will ask a friend 'what words do I need to use?' and they will then tell me what they would say. I then communicate using their words.
	My parents brought me up to be very polite which is very useful when in social situations.
	It was helpful when I was a teenager that my parents never commented on my lack of friends (they noticed but decided it would not be helpful to comment - impressive when you consider that they did not know that I was Autistic)
	I like my friends and family to know and understand (to the best of there ability) me. Whether anyone else understands is completely irrelevant to me.

Things I find unhelpful and/or difficult

	Friends and Family who try and put me under any pressure tend to find me uncooperative. Mainly because I am so stretched at work that when I come home I resist anything which might resemble 'stress'. When I am tired a stressful event could be anything from going to a crowded place (e.g. shopping) or something apparently trivial such as laying the dinner table.
	Sudden changes in plans can cause a great deal of anxiety. If a change is needed it would be best if it was discussed with me first - unfortunately this is not always possible. I can be left very disorientated within time.
	People who do not know me very well can be very irritating when they assume they do. It usually leads to them into giving ridiculous advice which usually imply that I would be okay if I tried a bit harder. They crucial point they have missed is that I am already giving life everything I have.
	It is virtually impossible for me to read and interpret other people. At work I simply treat everyone very politely and this seems to be fine. But when I am with family and friends there is often the expectation (from them and me) that I will read a situation - maybe empathise with someone - sometimes if something is a wrong I will hear the change in the tone of voice but making any real sense is often very difficult. From my perspective people are just very confusing!

...written for all the children and adults suffering
from and working with those who
suffer from similar problems...

Contact: Alison Hale hale@ndo.co.uk